Title: Post-Wedding Kittens
Pairing: Lancelot/Herbert, with a special guest appearance by King Arthur, the Lady of the Lake, and some adorable kittens
Rating: PG
Warning: Potentially sickening fluff! So if you hate kittens or are icked out by knights and princes in love, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
Summary: Lancelot and Herbert are visited by some unexpected guests on their wedding night.
Disclaimer: I don't own Spamalot or any of their lovely characters. If I did, it would never have left Chicago.
Author's Note: Inspired by a Kirk/Spock fic with a similar plot I read some years back entitled “Heavy Petting”. Also, whoever gets the literary references is made of win.



"Whew! I thought they’d never leave! Honestly, theatre-goers and their encores…" Gwen sighed, beginning the agonizingly slow process of untangling beads from her hair.

"Thus the benefit of building more than a model,” Arthur chuckled. “Almost makes you wish we had weddings every day!”

“We DO.” The former water sprite smirked at the irony, not noticing one of the beads had fallen to the floor and had been pounced upon by an orange blur, the latter causing her to jump and cry out.

“There you are, Mrs. Tulip Toes!” The king scooped the furry shape up in his arms, cooing appreciatively.

“What is that!?” Gwen gasped, holding a pale hand to her chest and grabbing the vanity for support.

“A cat, obviously!” He cheerfully showed it to her. It was one of those cats whose squashed face held a perpetual scowl. Then he regarded it curiously. “Where are your little ones? Have they grown in my absence?”

“Wait – there are more?”

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Lancelot laughed breathlessly as he walked hand in hand with his three-hour husband to the room he had been assigned upon his first visit to Camelot. Now, in the low light, he began to truly appreciate Prince Herbert’s beauty, from his silky blonde locks to his pale skin to his dark eyes that seemed to sparkle of their own accord with star-like radiance. How he wished his room were closer, that he would bed his fair husband and whisper in his pretty ear how much he loved him…

"Hey, d'you have a key?" the Prince’s gentle voice broke through his fantasy. Lancelot nodded, not only confirming the question but also clearing his head, deciding that the real thing was going to be a whole lot better. He fumbled with the small bit of metal, but managed to get the door open without much trouble.

The room looked much as Lancelot left it, with the exception of scented candles on the bedside table and rose petals scattered over the bedspread and floor. Lancelot suspected the involvement of Robin’s minstrels, but was happy with Herbert’s awed reaction: "How romantic!"

"Mm, yes. Almost makes you thing they’re expecting something…” Lancelot, feeling bold, snaked his strong arms around his husband’s waist, eliciting something between a giggle and a moan.

"Can we prove them wrong, just for tonight? I’m feeling a little tired.” Lancelot felt the Prince’s warm weight sag against the embrace.

"Sure. I understand the feeling well,” Lancelot sighed into his husband’s neck, feeling the effects of the past two hours weighing on his eyelids. “But only if I can do this!" He took advantage of his remaining strength by quickly scooping Herbert into his arms, reveling in the Prince’s bell-like laughter as he carried him to the bed.

"My knight in shining armor," Herbert sighed, taking in the sight of his beloved leaning over him.

"Sleep well, my sweet Prince." Contentment washed over him as Sir Lancelot moved to close the distance between them...

Mew!

"What was that?" Herbert peered past his husband into the semi-darkness.

"Nothing, nothing..." Lancelot again moved to taste the love of his life...

"No, I heard something!" Mewr! "There it is again!" Squirming out of his husband's grasp, Herbert dropped on his hands and knees to search under the bed. What he pulled out was the last thing Lancelot expected.

"Hullo, little fella! Where'd you come from?" Herbert giggled happily at the colorful puffball in his hands. A kitten, Lancelot realized, sinking into the mattress with a groan.

"Mrow," the kitten said.

"What's that?" Herbert smiled warmly, bringing the kitten up to his ear as if to listen to what it had to say. "Your brothers and sisters are where?" The Prince ducked back under the bed and pulled out one, two, three more kittens! Had Lancelot not been married to Herbert, he would have found the Prince's expression sickening. Instead, he found it endearingly adorable.

Herbert looked eagerly up at his husband. "Poor little things! Can they sleep with us tonight?"

"Herberrrrt..."

"Please?" Herbert held up one of the kittens, which gave him a little "mra."

"Oh...alright." Herbert gave him a delighted kiss before climbing back onto the bed, precariously balancing the four kittens in his arms. "They probably won't interfere with my plan anyway."

"What plan?" Herbert deposited three of the kittens at the end of the bed, lying on his side away from Lancelot, holding the remainder in his equally delicate hands.

Lancelot moved toward his husband, carefully enfolding him in a tender embrace and feeling his love stiffen at the still-unfamiliar intimacy. He ran his hands over Herbert's and the fluff beneath them, which he felt purring. If he were a cat, he would have purred his heart out being this close to his Herbert.

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever encountered, my Prince," Lancelot whispered. "If I had my way, I would hold you and kiss you and love you without cease. In fact, I fear I shall love you until my dying day. If any other love were a grain of sand, ours would be a universe of beaches. My dear, sweet Prince Herbert. I love you. I love you. Did I mention I love you? You are the sweetest, kindest, most loving person I have ever known, and I love you..."

Lancelot continued into the night, even after his Prince had fallen asleep, his fair features graced by tears and smiles of utter happiness. His last thoughts before he himself had fallen asleep were of the kittens that had allowed him to create this magical moment.